


Milk and Cream

by hernamewasalice



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Childhood Trauma, Consensual Underage Sex, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Modern Era, Older Man/Younger Woman, Pandemics, Promiscuous Rey, Quarantine, Runaway, Secret Relationship, Underage Sex, quarantined
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:33:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25181029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernamewasalice/pseuds/hernamewasalice
Summary: Kylo finds a teen runaway but right before he can report it, the pandemic happens.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 66
Kudos: 209





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Did my best to try to avoid writing quarantine fics but woops
> 
> Promiscuous Rey x Lonely Kylo

Kylo should have reported her sooner.

It's only been a couple of days that he's found her, he couldn't have predicted a stay at home order. It was just announced today. He lights his cigarette and thinks to himself. He doesn't know what to do about the runaway girl. She tells him her foster dad is abusive and he's not sure where she'll be placed - either back with her foster dad or someone else. Kylo doesn't have the conscience to report it when there was a pandemic. He won't be able to rest knowing she might be passed around different homes and getting sick.

She comes outside and sits beside him, kicking her feet up like a child. She says she's seventeen but she can pass as fourteen or fifteen to him. The girl is really thin, her clavicles are prominent and her jaw was defined and sharp. She's wearing one of his shirts again despite the fact she washed her clothes this afternoon. Rey - the runaway's name, is really enamored with him. She doesn't say but she's not exactly discrete. Kylo can tell. She's beaming at him with a smile on her face.

He rubbed his forehead. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You can keep me," she chimes. Her eyes are twinkling, dimples on display.

"Until when?"

"Whenever you want or until the stay at home order is over."

Kylo frowned. He has a feeling that the two weeks will extend to much longer. He puffs out some smoke and sighed. Rey gets on his lap and presses a wet kiss on his temple. She's really cute. He knows she's manipulating him to not be returned back. Kylo doesn't try to fight it since it's a health issue and it works out since she's trying to avoid being found.

She'll stay here until the rate goes down.

* * *

Things don't get better and as he predicted, the stay at home order has been extended. He's a doctor and his hospital is taking more action. All the healthcare workers in his department are required to be trained extensively right now. He's at home trying to keep up with the reading but the girl...can be a distraction. She doesn't know much about boundaries so whenever he has to study, he locks her out of his room.

She likes playing with him. He doesn't mind it but there was a time and place for it. He only lets her suck his cock when she's good. Rey looks innocent but she's very...active. Kylo did his best to resist her advances but he... succumbed to his urges not too long ago. He blames it on being quarantined together. The quarantine is going to be much longer and he suppose she's his now.

Kylo couldn't exactly give her back after he engaged in sexual relations with her - a minor. He can't really justify the fact that he was an adult man that was seduced by a teenager. If the authorities found out, he's going to get in trouble and he doesn't want to know if Rey learned her... affectionate behavior from someone else. Rey says she's going to be eighteen soon in the next several months and they can pretend to have met after that. No one knows about her thankfully. The social distancing helps. Everything's closed too and it's not a bright idea to visit anyone. It's scary how everything fell into place conveniently. 

He can hear Rey hovering by his door like a cat as he tried to go over the material for the second time. Kylo sighed. He suppose he has to take care of her. She can be smothering and overbearing but he's thankful to have her during all of this. Kylo lived alone but with the quarantine, it's making him see things in a different light. He might have been depressed if he had to be by himself through all of this. He can't even visit his parents for obvious reasons. He only does to get and leave them groceries once a week at their doorstep. He only sees them through the window before leaving. He's careful with them, minimizes his contact for extra precaution.

Rey goes on her tip toes to kiss him. She really is cute. She's short, hits barely at his chest. And she was really thin, he can carry her with one arm. 

He brushes her off though. "I still need to finish reading." He goes back to his chair.

She follows him regardless, she senses what he needs before he does. She goes down on her knees and goes in between his legs. She's groping him through his pants. Kylo doesn't resist, in fact he wants it right now too. The world is mess right now and it wasn't going to get any better any time soon. And right now he wants his cock to be sucked. He ties her hair up in bun as she was pulling his pants down. "Thanks," she beamed, wrinkling her nose fondly. He can never do her hair right, it's always in a messy bun instead of a nice kept one. But it makes her pleased nevertheless. He cares about her. She starts off slow with stroking his cock with just one hand. She likes how it feels when it's limp. It's soft and gummy and her favorite part is tugging and pulling on it until it gets nice and hard.

She likes watching and feeling it grow in her hand, pulsating. She stopped tugging to rub her thumb along his veins. His tip is red now, all the blood is there. She's surprised every time to see how big he can get and he's really big even when he's limp too. She's sucked plenty of boys off before but they were never this long and thick. 

Rey can hear him moan as his fingers crept to her hair. She hushes him and moved back before he could try to shove her down his cock. Kylo gets a little impatient sometimes. She doesn't mind choking on it but right now she wants to worship him. "Don't worry," she coaxed him. "I'll suck it soon enough. I just want to play with it...for a bit." Gently, she squeezed his tip, making the beads of precum trickle down his length. 

He pets her hair lovingly before he pulled down her shirt to expose her breasts. "I would love to see you naked right now."

"You're supposed to be reading."

He hushes her and gestures her to lick his cock. She's not. She's teasing him, making him suffer. She's cupping his balls right now. It feels good but he would love it even more if his cock was down her throat. He grabs her by her hair to start licking his dick. Kylo can't come inside until her body was adjusted to the birth control. He just put her on it recently to protect her. The last thing he needs is to get her pregnant during this time especially when he's trying to hide her until she's eighteen. 

She moved away to leave little kisses on the inner part of his thighs. He can't remember when they started having sexual relations but he knows it was pretty early on. Like really, really early on. The days melt into one another, time doesn't exist anymore. He just knows it was her who initiated it all. He tried to resist but after a while he wanted it too. Kylo's damn sure he's going to hell. 

You can't blame him. She really is cute.


	2. Chapter 2

She's like a rabbit.

He's never met a woman who was this sexually active. Can he call her a woman? She's not even eighteen yet so he suppose not. Kylo's surprised he wasn't shooting out blanks by now by how much they do it. He admits that maybe they're engaging sexual activity more that they don't worry about a pregnancy. Rey has an oral fixation, she can't seem to go a day without sucking his cock at least twice. She's always touching him. She plays with his cock when he's cooking and grinds on his lap whenever he's sitting down.

Kylo's not complaining.

It feels great. It was nice having someone that keep up with his needs.

She's a really sweet girl but he notices that she doesn't let him pleasure her down there. He wonders if it's because she's shy or something happened to her before. It's something he wants to do but he has to get her permission first. She's on top of him, bouncing up and down his cock. She really likes milking him. She's going at it fast like the rabbit she was. God, she has a lot of hormones. She's making the bed creak with how much she was going up and down his length. He bit down his lip hard. Before her, he never had trouble lasting but with her was a different story. She's so energetic and cute with a body like a heaven. She doesn't feel real sometimes with how perfect she was. She's nice and tight with a pretty face. Kylo has a cock ring on to help him from finishing before she's done with her fun.

Kylo kisses her, holding her firmly by her waist. He kisses her for a long time before pushing her on her back and holding her into place. He hears a loud pop sound during the motion. He moans into her throat from the slight pain of disconnection. He moves up to kiss her again but deeply this time. The only time she was still and calm was when they were kissing like lovers. He suppose they were with the way their bodies were rocking to one another. "Are you tired yet, rabbit?" he asked as he part her mouth with his tongue.

Rey shakes her head and giggles. "No - mm." She's quiet now because he's kissing her.

Kylo nodded. "Mm."

She breathed weakly, becoming putty in his hands.

He pulls away slowly, watching the string of their saliva trying to stay before breaking. He kisses the side of her neck and then her shoulders. He can hear her sigh when he touches her breasts. Her hips buck up and he knows what she wants. She loves his cock. He's sure she loves his cock more in her pussy than in her mouth. Kylo decides to stimulate her nipples first. He does so by teasing both of her nipples with his fingers. "You come so easily when I play with your tits, I wonder if you do the same if I lick your pussy."

Rey pressed her thighs together. She doesn't want that.

"I'm sure you'll like it," he coaxed. She lets him finger her and yet doesn't let him taste her. "I know you taste sweet that's why deny me."

"I'm afraid you might like it."

He smiled at her darkly as he bent down to suckle at her nipple. "I know I will."

"I don't want that." She pets his hair as he rolled his tongue around her nipple.

"Why?"

"It's a little too early for us."

He couldn't help but to laugh. They fuck every single day and share a bed - he stopped laughing seeing how much she was hurt. "I understand," he tells her then. He touches her clit to help relax her. "It's your special spot and you want to protect it a little bit longer."

Rey nodded.

* * *

He keeps her inside for the most part. Kylo's not possessive - he's just afraid someone might recognize her and report her. She keeps begging to go with him to pick up takeout and go grocery shopping but he always rejects her pleas. It was dangerous. She's not eighteen yet and he can be charged.

"Everyone has to wear a mask, I doubt anyone will recognize me with my face half covered. Besides I'm not from this city," Rey reminded him.

"Yes but someone might have seen your missing picture," he tells her again. He kisses her temple. "It's not safe for you to go out anyways."

"You go out all the time." Rey sighed. She knows it's a weak counter argument but still.

"Because I have to for work and have to take care of you and my parents. Besides you can go out once you're eighteen." Well, maybe a month or two after she turned eighteen. It will be too suspicious if she suddenly can go out the second she turns eighteen. He wants to make it seem like they met when she's an adult and not before that.

She's pouting again.

Kylo frowned. He hates when she gives him that look. She's acting like he's locking her up or something. He's not. He's protecting her from the virus and from being abused again. He does take her out. He does. They go on long late night drives and walks whenever the county doesn't have their random curfews.

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"What? Rey of course not. Why do you think that?"

Her eyes went to the floor then. "I don't k-know," she sniffled. She's crying now, she cries so easily sometimes.

Kylo immediately wrapped her in his arms. He forgets how young she is, how sensitive she can be. "I want to show you to the world but I don't want to lose you. Just wait until you're old enough and when things are okay, I'm going to show you off. "

Rey wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She lights up then, dimples prominent. "Really?"

"Really."

* * *

Sometimes, Kylo wonders if how she felt about him was genuine. He wonders as they were sitting outside in his backyard at night. She's on his lap, lighting the cigarette in his mouth for him. She's wearing one of his shirts again and just that. No bra. No underwear. He can see her perky tits poking through and he knows she's not wearing underwear by how she wasn't trying to cover herself. He has a feeling she wants him to fuck her again. He puffs out smoke as he rubbed her bare thighs.

Ever so often, he thinks about the situation she's got him in.

It wasn't entirely his fault. She wanted it, honestly she did. She's such a naughty girl with trying to join him in the shower multiple times or welcoming him home by taking off her clothes. He couldn't control his dick and he fucked her. You can't be fully mad at him.

But he wonders if she really likes him or just using him to survive. He doesn't know much about her past. She tries to paint it lightly or change the subject but he can tell it must be bad for her to run away and jump into an older man's arms - even if it was him.

"What's on your mind?" she asked, touching the bit of gray in his hair.

Kylo puffs out smoke from his cigarette. "Do you like being intimate with me?"

"Of course I do. It feels good."

He chewed the inner part of his cheek. It wasn't exactly the answer he wanted. People can have and enjoy sex without having any feelings for that person. It was a fact. For most cases it wasn't an issue but this was. He's risking his life for her. "You don't have to sleep with me for a place to stay. I'll still let you live here for as long as you need."

Rey blinked. "I sleep with you because I like you."

His heart skipped a beat.

She takes out the cigarette out of his mouth to kiss him. He doesn't deny her, he doesn't think he can. There was something about her, something mesmerizing. She was like a ball of fire and he didn't want the flame to die out. Kylo likes that and wants to hold her before she hurts herself. She's so forward, unapologetic with everything she does. He likes that about her for he never met anyone like her before. They kiss for a long time that he doesn't notice he unbuttoned all the buttons on her shirt. It was second nature for him to strip her bare. Rey doesn't mind though. She shifts back and puts the cigarette out in the ash tray. "Come on, let's go to bed," she said as she shrugged her shirt off.

* * *

Rey's the first to get into bed.

It takes him a while to take off his clothes but it wasn't an issue. She snuggled under the cool covers as she waited. She doesn't look away watching him undress. He was a handsome man and she's feels it in her heart that he's the most beautiful man she'll ever see in her life. He had a muscular body, toned and defined. She watches him walk over to her with eyes clouded in lust. She sees it, his cock dangling in between his legs. She was a very, very lucky girl. Her jaw hurts sometimes sucking that massive thing but it was a good pain. She's not sure what she liked more, his cock throbbing down her throat or in her pussy.

She welcomes him as he slipped underneath the covers. He pulls the sheets over because she was Dr. Ren's dirty little secret. There was something exhilarating about that - to know that he wanted her despite everything.

He touches her, strokes her cheek as his other hand felt her up.

Rey sighs softly.

Kylo caresses his hard cock in his hand. "Do you want this little girl?"

She nodded, unable to hide her eagerness.

He smirked then but allows her to go in between his legs. He pets her hair as she sucked him dry, trying to get all the cream out. "Should have known you were trouble little girl," there was endearment in his tone.

She continues to suck him still, her eyes twinkling in mischief.

Kylo smiled at her fondly as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I should have walked away when I first saw you. Should have."


	3. Chapter 3

Rey was afraid of a lot of people.

Blame it on the foster system and how it failed her. Child service workers - foster parents - police officers - teachers - everyone. That's why Rey ran away, to avoid from being abused and let down by another adult. The scariest part though about being a runaway was the unknown, particularly strangers. She couldn't trust police officers for she feared they might recognize her face.

She did however trusted doctors.

Doctors always saved her, they always report the second they discover something odd about her body. Whether it was an incoherent coerced story of an accident or visible signs of abuse on her body. She had a stronger relationship with doctors and nurses than therapists. Without doctors, she wouldn't been able to be transferred from foster parents who hurt her.

That's why she gravitated to Kylo. Even when she first laid eyes on him, she knew he was a doctor. He wasn't even wearing any visible indicator but she knew. He was tall and he looked strong. She knew from an instant he would protect her and keep her safe. And so she ended up following him like a stray.

The rest was history.

* * *

His hair was getting long but he can't do anything since the salons are closed. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and grinned. "Let me trim your hair."

Kylo laughs. He doesn't regret letting her in to his life. She brings so much happiness especially during this tough time. They're almost there. Soon she will be eighteen. "My hair is fine. It doesn't get in the way when I have to be all covered up at work."

"Please?" she pleads.

"Does my shaggy hair bother you?" he chuckled.

"No but I think it'll be fun to cut your hair."

He gives her a look like a parent would give to a mischievous child. "It'll be fun for _you_." He kisses the top of her head as he groped her ass.

Rey shakes her head. "I'll let you cut my hair too."

"I like your hair the way it is." He liked her hair long, made her look older.

She goes on her toes to kiss him on the mouth. "No short hair? No pixie cut?"

"No. I love the way you are."

* * *

He has trouble staying still.

Rey giggles. "What's wrong, don't trust me with scissors?"

"No."

"I'm going just do a little trim, get your hair back to chin length. Besides you say so yourself you're covered head to toe at work. No one's going to notice at work. And also no one's going to notice a bad hair cut when everyone has them now."

Kylo sighs. "Fine."

She smiles. She combs his hair first. She's gentle, ever so often kisses the back of his neck. Rey has to swat his hands away from grabbing her and putting her on his lap. "Hey sir, hands to yourself."

Kylo smirks at her. "If you don't want me to touch you, then don't touch me." He grabs her by her thigh.

"Well I have to be touching you to cut your hair."

"Fair enough," he smiles.

* * *

_The man doesn't smile._

_He mainly glares._

_Rey couldn't help but to be fascinated by that._

_He keeps to himself with hands in his pockets. The man was jaded and reserved. There was something about him that gravitated her to him. Amongst the crowds of people, he stood out. He had such a strong presence that she's able to follow him through the sea of people. It also helped with the fact that he was gorgeous. Strong too._

_She can tell he was a doctor. Rey had a knack for reading people. Despite his unapproachable exterior she could tell he had a big heart._

* * *

It's really intimate, having her trim his hair. She only cuts about two inches off. Every now and then she rubs his neck and kisses him. She's gentle and soft and she does a good job. Kylo shouldn't be surprised since he kept his hair typically long unlike most men. Maintaining his hair wasn't as intricate compared to short hair.

She brushes off the loose hair off the towel that was wrapped around his neck.

"All better?" she asked. "I got all the dead ends."

"Yes, it does actually."

Rey hands him a mirror and shows him how the back looks.

"Not bad."

She gives him look. "Well thank you for that heartfelt gratitude."

Kylo's eyes flickered. He grabs her again and has her on his lap. He kisses her hard. "How was that as a thank you?"

"Better," she breathed. She gathers herself first before saying another response. He kisses her temples lovingly. "But could be better." Rey touches his newly trimmed ends in fondness. It was soft and shiny. "It's not fair that you have such pretty hair."

He runs his fingers through hers. She was a runaway before she found him. Her hair was effected deeply by it from not having frequent showers and using low grade hair products. "It's not that fair how pretty you are."

"Will I get nice hair like yours some day?"

He chuckled. "If you actually do the hair routine daily, then you will."

* * *

_There was a little girl following him. At first he thought it was in his mind but he notices her again for the third time. Kylo stopped and turned around. "Can I help you?" he asked._

_The girl blinked and shook her head. She must be mute._

_He observed her head to toe. He couldn't help but to notice how unkept she was. She must be homeless. He could always tell by the current state of someone's hair. Her clothes looked relatively clean and free from holes but he can tell that they were slept in as well. Kylo could hear her stomach._

_"Would you want a meal?" he offered. This wasn't the first time a homeless person followed him. They were able to spot that he had money with his Rolex and shoes. He makes sure to give people food because he doesn't trust giving money. "I'm going to go to the bakery the next turn ahead. You can wait outside."_

_She nods with her eyes gleaming._

_She had pretty eyes, green._

_"Do you have any preferences?"_

_The girl shakes her head._

_Good. He doesn't like picky beggars. He takes another glance at the girl before heading to the bakery. She was young. She must have lost her life to drugs in her teens._

_He comes back to her with a sandwich and bottled sparkling water. It wasn't much, about seven fifty for the meal. Kylo holds it out for a few seconds, to make her salivate at the sight before giving it to her. He wants her to savor this moment, this exchange of kindness. The girl takes it and smiles. She doesn't even say thank you but she had such a sweet smile._

_She must be really mute or been through things._

_It's such a shame for she was young and pretty._

_"You're welcome," he tells her._

_The girl smiles again. She packs up the things in her backpack and starts walking the other direction._

_Huh. Most beggars try to weasel their way for more. He respects that. She's small, she walks so cute. Like a little happy go lucky child. She even has some pep in her steps. He doesn't think much of it. It was probably the only time he'll see that girl._

_Kylo pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking as he continued his day._

* * *

Sometimes, Rey gets scared.

With all the protests happening and violence increasing, she has every right to be. Especially with the place they lived in. A lot of protests happen around here. Kylo assures her every night that they were safe. He had a high end security system and vows that he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

He's happy he's found her. He can't imagine Rey living on the streets during all of this. The virus. The economy and non profit systems collapsing. The protests. The increase of violence.

They were watching TV. It was hard not to escape the news so he switches on to Disney plus.

"I don't see why people are upset over little things," she whispered. She rested her head on his lap. He pets her hair as he ate some popcorn that she made. "Money comes and goes but you only get one life. I don't know why people are fighting to reopen the economy and schools."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I don't get it either."

She looks up at him with the sweetest expression. "At least you're out there saving lives. Making a difference."

Kylo couldn't help but to laugh. "Yeah but it's not enough. People aren't taking this seriously. They think it's some conspiracy and they aren't wearing masks. Soon the hospitals will be overfilled. The government isn't doing that much to help out thousands of people who are unemployed. I feel responsible for this."

"How so?"

"I'm part of the health care system. The US has the worst one. Not everyone has access to healthcare and during this time it shows how much the US was wrong about not providing universal health care. There will be so many people that get sick but can't go get treated."

Rey buried her face.

"It's okay," he whispered. He touches her hair as he picks something else for them to watch. "You are safe and I'm going to do my best to help everyone that I encounter." Kylo pulls her up to his lap and kisses her lightly. "No more crying."

She nodded. "I'm so happy I found you."

* * *

_Sometimes, Kylo remembers the beggars he's come across. He lived in the good part of the city but the issue of homelessness wasn't going away. It was only growing. He's surprised whenever he remembers a face since there was so much in Los Angeles._

_But he remembers her, the girl._

_He remembers her because she doesn't seem like she belonged in that situation. She seemed so sweet and tame. He didn't feel she was mentally ill or lost her way to drugs. He sees her in the city, latching on to someone else. The girl was a parasite it seems. She must be hungry, desperate for food._

_Kylo goes in her general direction. People here can be evil and take advantage of her. He hopes the person she's following isn't someone bad. He knows he shouldn't get involved with strangers especially with the homeless population. But there's so much light in that girl and he doesn't want it to be stolen._

* * *

"Is the world really falling apart? Or are you just saying that to keep me?"

Kylo smirked. She had such a sense of humor. He stroked her hair as he unbuttoned her shirt. She smiled as she said those words, igniting something within him. She always found a way to bring light. "Please don't tell me you are one of the _nonbelievers._ The numbers are only increasing," he hums, kissing at her bare skin. The girl only seems to wear his shirts now for clothes but he doesn't mind. "Even when the world returns back to normal, I would still keep you."

The girl's face brightens as he says this. All she ever wanted was a home.

"I'm certain the numbers of births will jump immensely in the next several months." He pulls her to his lap, in a position she loves so much.

Rey smiled cheekily. "People are bored that's why. Doesn't help with the fact that it's law to stay inside." She's grinding on his cock now, wearing only her underwear but it won't protect her given how delicate and sheer it was. He gets her pretty things.

"Yes it certainly doesn't."


	4. Chapter 4

The pandemic isn't going to go away at all. Nothing's getting better. The rates keep going up and half of the country refuses to wear masks. At least Rey was finally eighteen now. Being caught hiding a runaway minor was the least of Kylo's problems. The cases keep going up at work and yet people still think Covid-19 is a hoax. It's frustrating since he's a frontline worker.

At least he can take Rey out now without worrying but they can't go anywhere they want because there's a pandemic. Restaurants were open but they don't feel comfortable dining in. They chose to remain careful. Kylo takes her to nice places but it's not how he pictured things to be when this moment came. Rey's finally eighteen but the pandemic was still here. There was nowhere for them to go. It was a bittersweet birthday to say the very least.

He knows it's going to be for the next few years... if they're lucky. It's all surreal that they live in a world like this. Ever so often he will forget but then be reminded when he goes to work.

Kylo was very grateful to have her in his life. Especially now. He was very lonely before Rey and before this. He knows very well he would have been more depressed without someone during this time. There's nothing for them to worry about anymore. He searches for her as he comes home from a long shift. He finds her asleep on the couch. Kylo smiles at the sight of the pretty girl sleeping peacefully. There's nothing for them to worry about anymore.

* * *

"When will I meet your mother?" Rey asks.

Kylo smiles at her. "Maybe in six months or so." She's been eager to be known since her birthday passed not too long ago.

Rey pouted.

He chuckled at his girl. "I know you want to meet her - but I want you to be eighteen for a while before you do. To help lessen the blow."

Rey sighed then. "Do you think she'll like me?"

"Of course she will but it'll take her some time to get pass the age difference." Rey gets on his lap and curls around him like a cat. He smiles at her and gives her a kiss in response. She perks up and wraps her arms around his neck. He likes the weekends when he doesn't have work and gets to spend all his free time with her. "Where do you want to go today?"

"Can we...go to the bookstore?"

He smiled at her. She was trying to hide the fact that she already knew where she wanted to go. "We went there last week though."

"So? I like going there."

"Fair enough."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Of course," he stroked her hair. He loves her, more than she knows. "I'll go wherever you'll go."

* * *

There are some days were sadness takes over. It was inevitable with everything going on. It comes in waves. Back and forth. Some days Rey needs some space and so she goes out on her own. She goes to the bookstore or the park. Kylo understands how smothering it could be being stuck at home. He's lucky to not have his work be altered to a remote job like other people.

He has to remind himself over and over that it's not him, it's just the situation. It's normal for couples to need space. He knows he can be smothering.

Kylo doesn't ever want to lose her. She always come back though. She comes back to him and they always kiss and make up. They only had two fights so far. Most of the times when Rey needs time alone it's not because of him but to clear her mind. When they make up, sometimes he gets a little too passionate. But he can't really help it though.

"Kylo - Kylo," she rasped. "You're hurting me." She's nudging him with her hands frantically.

He doesn't even notice until she says something. "I'm sorry." He shifts back slightly and tries to be gentle again. He doesn't know though. Can't seem to touch her without bruising a bone.

"It's okay," she exhaled. She kisses him to assure she was fine. "I wasn't gone for too long was I?"

"No you weren't - it's just you know how I am when we are intimate."

Rey smiles at him in endearment. "I know." She combs her fingers through his hair and just keeps smiling at him. He never wants her to stop. He loves her. Loves his safe place. He presses his face into the hallow of her throat and nuzzles her there. Don't let go.

Don't.

* * *

Discussions come up inevitably about bringing a child during the current state of the world. He's adamant rightfully so while Rey was insistent. "It's perfect timing," she said with a lopsided smile.

"During a pandemic?" he raised his eyebrow at her.

Rey grins. "Yes. Perfect timing. It'll take a couple of years for this to blow over but by then, the baby will be able to have a normal life."

"You're young," Kylo says, suppressing a smirk. She's just young and bored from the quarantine. Rey doesn't know what she really wants. "You have a lot ahead of you before becoming a mother."

* * *

Everything about Rey was perfect.

Sometimes too perfect.

She knows how to pull him out from drowning in his depression. She knows exactly what to do to get him floating again. She's playing with his hair again, like a manic pixie girl. Rey's giggling as she does this wearing one of his shirts.

Kylo reaches to touch her thigh but he can't seem to find her. He turns around and she's not there. "Rey," he calls out her name. She doesn't respond. Kylo blinked several times in bewilderment. She just disappeared. How was that possible?

"Rey?" he calls her name again. He searches for her all through his home. She's not here.

She was just here.

"Rey."

"Rey."

"Rey?"

No answer. The only sound he could hear was the emptiness of his house. He doesn't like it when she's not around. Kylo goes back into his room to hold on to an item of hers for comfort. There's nothing in the room that belonged to her. Rey didn't really have anything. She mainly wore his shirts as clothing. She didn't have much. He froze in place. Standing in his vacant room. His eyes roamed for indicators of Rey. There's nothing.

Kylo swallowed hard at the realization. He wants to go outside for fresh air but he can't seem to move.

Rey was never here, was she?

Did she even exist?


End file.
